That's a question that was asked at a meeting I had to go to at work today. It wasn't really addressed to anyone, but the speaker--our store director--thought we should all know. Well, I'm afraid I can't answer that. I know I do not want to still be working as a cashier in a supermarket, but I feel so lost in my direction in life. I'm 29 years old and still have no idea what I want to do for a living, what kind of goals to set for myself, etc. It's been difficult for me to look that far ahead when there are days that my biggest goal is to get through the day without any major anxiety/depression/manic episodes.
I've been in and out of college classes since the year 2000 when I graduated high school. I was originally going for a Liberal Arts degree. I changed my mind and decided I wanted to do Business. Then I thought I wanted to be a nurse. I have about 40-50 college credits but don't even have an Associate's Degree. My dad sometimes says I change my mind just like the weather, which is true. For several months I have been thinking about pursuing a pharmacy technician position and have been wanting to take classes for that, though it's only offered in the fall so I would have to wait until fall of this year to try to get into that program. Another reason I've been so inconsistent with college is because of my mental health issues. There have been times where I've had to drop classes for the semester or year because I was so unstable.
I hate saying this, because I hate admitting that I need help with things, but I need help in deciding what I want to do with my future. Some people are so clear with their goals. I can't stand that mine are constantly changing.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
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I can't look that far a head in life. Like a lot of us with mental baggage, focusing on today is a lot to take at times. I hate to say that I've given up on what or where I want to be in the future, but I have. I just want to be happy. If I'm happy then I've accomplished more than I could ever imagine. I would love to be able to help youth with mental issues. But until I get stable for a long enough period that's probably not going to happen.
ReplyDeleteMy psych said to write a list. Goals etc. See if you can figure things out from there.
Yes! Sometimes it's extremely hard not to focus on the future and to just take it one day at a time, but for people like us, sometimes it's the only way for us to get through the day. I really hope you find something that helps you maintain long-term stability. I sometimes wonder if that's possible because meds seem to stop working over a period of time.
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